Coward of the Country
(My one and only attempt at musical satire, written months after it ceased to be relevant. Words by Floppybootstomp with absolutely no input from Kenny Rogers at all)
Everyone considered him the champion of the Sky-Bid
He never said one single time that monopoly was wrong
His momma called him David but folks just called him useless
Something always told me he was a good Bullingdon boy
In office for ten minutes and he bottles the decision
Because Rupe’s a friend to Tories and they both got along
I still recall the final words that Murdoch said to Cameron:
‘The News of the World is history but my Sky-Bid must go on’
Promise me Dave not to leave my work undone
Remember all my favours if you can
The Sun comes out each day I can make our friendship pay
I hope your phone’s encrypted if you can’t
Sometimes your wallet needs an extra grand
There is someone for everyone and Dave obeyed Rebekah
With her lies he didn’t have to serve the common man
One day when he was working the Guardian boys came calling
They exposed Rebekah and the nasty Murdoch press
Dave opened up the door and saw Rebekah hiding
Her perjured heart, her shredded files was more than he could stand
He reached above the fireplace to take down Rupert’s picture
As he thought of legal loopholes he heard those words again
Promise me Dave not to leave my work undone
Remember all my favours if you can
The Times comes out each day I can make our friendship pay
I hope your phone’s encrypted if you can’t
Sometimes your wallet needs an extra grand
The house of commons laughed at him as he walked into the chamber
Or that idiot weasel Milliband? I really can’t be sure
He said he’d not refer the bid to the monopolies commission
but you could have heard a pin drop when he u-turned and ran away
20 years of crawling were bottled up inside him
But he knew that for the Murdochs he would crawl for 20 more
If Rupe got what he wanted he would finally be somebody
And if he didn’t get it, the Daily Mail would step in
And I heard him say:
Promise me Rupe not to drop me in the soup
Remember all my favours if you can
The Sun comes out each day I’ll do anything you say
Lat me stick my tongue up your behind
I’m the bestest little toady you will find
Everyone considered him the champion of the Sky-Bid
Tags: David Cameron, Rupert Murdoch, Satire
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